Posted By Melanie @ 7:12 AM |
Friday, December 16, 2005
Worried
This pregnancy is sooooo very different from all of the rest that it is driving me crazy. What the hell is wrong with me??? I should be so very happy to be having a normal pregnancy for once. I am hardly sick right now. I feel fine most days as though I am not even pregnant. My blood pressure has only been elevated a few times. I tested NORMAL on my first glucose test! So what the hell am I worried about????
Wanna know a little secret? I was up all night before my ultrasound terrified that I was going to hear awful news when they looked at the baby. I was prepping myself all night for disturbing things that I thought must be wrong for this pregnancy to be so uneventful for me in comparison to the others. When the tech was taking all of her pictures and measurements, every word out of my mouth was asking for reassurance that all was okay - "And that measures okay?" "ou see nothing wrong there?" I think she thought I was crazy! She even gave me my own copy of all of her findings I guess to ease my mind. So King Papa Bear was happy at the thought that my mind would finally be set at ease knowing for sure everything was normal. But of course, I will find something else to worry about with this baby.
So my current worry is my appetite and lack of weight gain. I am hardly ever hungry and force myself to eat which is not much. Yesterday I had raisin bran at about 5am, then around 2pm I had half of a cheese sandwich, and did not want dinner. So I had a nutri grain bar around 8pm before bed. Nice healthy eating habits for an expectant mama, huh??? This is normal for me lately. Some days I will be real hungry and grab food but most are just like what I described! I am over 5 months along now and I have gained a total of 3 pounds. Now don't get me wrong, I was way overweight to begin with so maybe that is a blessing in disguise but it still concerns me. So there is my dilemma. You can think I am nuts, since I probably am but it feels better to "write" it down. A little anyway.
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